The Myths of Bisexuality
By Nenah Drewry
Recently a friend who identifies herself as bisexual remarked to me how difficult a time she’s had in finding a serious partner. Seems once she revealed her sexual preference, she’d receive one of many pat reactions. On the outset, bisexual people are no different from homosexuals or heterosexuals – they simply acknowledge an attraction to people of both genders. It is also possible, too, for bisexual men and women to enjoy lasting, loving relationships.
Whether you know somebody who is “bi” or are curious about different behaviors, here are a few things one should know. Bisexuals are not to be feared – they work, enjoy sports and movies, some may go to church, but all are deserving of the benefit of the doubt.
Myth #1. Bisexuals are promiscuous and incapable of fidelity. Don’t assume that because a person is attracted to both men and women that he/she sleeps around. Just as nobody would accuse a hetero or a lesbian of overactive sexual nature, so a bi person shouldn’t be tagged. Bisexuals are capable of maintaining faithful relationships and marriages. It is not required for a bi male or female to have engaged in physical, intimate contact with somebody of the same gender to be labeled as such. What defines a bisexual is attraction.
Myth #2. Bisexuals will readily engage in threesomes. The urge to dive into a menage or orgy is not mutually exclusive with bisexuality. When one considers all the possible combinations of three-way, four-way and more-way sex acts, it’s possible to have fun without same-gender contact. Don’t assume that because somebody likes men and women that he/she is willing to hop into bed with both.
Myth #3. Bisexuals are really just gay or straight people in denial. It’s simple to want to dismiss certain behaviors. If a younger person experiments in same-sex intimacy, it’s a phase, nothing to be taken seriously. Conversely if a woman believe to be lesbian is suddenly dating a man, she was never gay to begin with. Know this: a person can desire both sexes. While somebody may not date a man and a woman at the same time, it doesn’t negate that person’s feelings.
In summary, bisexuality is the nature of being attracted to either gender. One can be bi and faithful to a partner, or live in celibacy if that is his/her choice. Don’t be afraid to enter a relationship with somebody who is bi – communicate, and you may find you’ll learn so much more that attracts you.
Nenah Drewry writes about lesbian and bisexual issues, including lesbian online dating and dating bisexual women.
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